Growing and Changing

Holy Christ where to even begin? So much has happened recently, and so little has come through the podcast and the blog. All this shit is happening and I'm not putting anything out there, why do I even have this thing?

Well I don't want to drawl on because I could give you details, and im gaining the confidence to believe that some of you might actually give a shit. But that's probably just in my head so ill just give you the rundown. Starting with why the hell its been like 13 weeks since we've posted anything on the podcast.

My old lease ended and despite the fact that I thought I had an in with a close personal friend that would give me a perfect place to live with Conover so we actually could get work done, I could make money teaching music lessons and ubering, and spending the rest of the time focusing on content for you nice people, and keep my dog while saving money on rent. Well I got royally fucked in that situation. So began the 2 week mad dash for a new apartment which eventually panned out to some extent, but as some of you may know from Facebook, I no longer have my dog Morty, he now lives with Conover's parents place because the only place I could find on such short notice did not allow dogs. So yea fuck me.

I wanted Awe, Really to be my main focus. Let me restate - Awe, Really IS my main focus. But until this brings in a way for me to pay rent and eat, I gotta figure some other shit out, which takes up time that would otherwise be dedicated to Awe, Really content. So I've been helping my dad with his new tattoo laser removal company (Anyone who's even THINKING about getting a tattoo removed, visit for the BEST option in the tri-state area!) 

Our intention was to release a late June episode chronicling our adventures in DC for Reason Rally 2016. The plan was to record the whole episode while we were there, but we were pretty damn busy and that didn't even close to happen. We got back and Conover got right back to work and it was 3 weeks after our return from the trip before we got a chance to finish recording, but we figured wtf we'll just pull some editing magic and you guys wouldn't know the difference. But you're not stupid, and I'm not a fucking editing magician and I don't want to release something to you guys that's not a piece of work that I can say I am proud of.

In a separate, somewhat unrelated yet properly timed news. There are some changes coming in terms of the podcast. It just so happened that as a result of self reflection as well as the opportunity of not having shit to release to you, I came to a realization. I went into it briefly in the FB/IG video I released but I don't know how explanatory that was .

I like to think I'm a smart guy and I know Conover is a smart guy so it seemed natural to start a podcast. We looked around and saw all these stupid people saying stupid shit and we figured eh we could do better than that! But quickly are we recognizing that...uh well...we dont know shit!

It's always the case that the more you learn, the less you know. Of course what that really means is that the more you learn, the more questions you uncover - the more you realize things arent so simple and the things you THOUGHT you knew are a lot more complex than you had ever imagined, and thus you begin to doubt more and more. The most ignorant person in the world thinks he knows everything. Yea this is the opposite. 

SO - point being that I dont feel comfortable positing myself as an authority on any given issue where I simply am not a qualified authority. I dont want to be responsible for telling you things, regardless of whether I am reporting accurately, Im not the one to make such conclusions, and if they are correct, then theres somewhere else out there you can find that same information. The idea is for you to go out and find that information - to WANT to go out and find that information. So the idea from this point on, will be that the Awe, Really Podcast will be a bastion for LEARNING, not teaching. 

People dont have to be a PhD in this or that to have a useful worldview or perspective that I, and you can benefit from equally. My belief is that if you are willing to explore what you know and what you believe deeply enough, there is insight to be found, regardless of who you are, what you do, how far you've gone in school, or anything else. Each person has a unique perspective and it speaks only to the lack of insight of the person who is unable to see it. 

So we're going to start with this new format starting tomorrow, I have what I hope to be rather interesting conversation with a guest that should teach me a decent amount. It is not at all an interview, its just a conversation, and theres no goal or message Im looking to extract from the episode. My only goal is to learn more about this person than what I know now, and to hopefully learn something about myself or about life or about something bigger than the direct discussion subject.

I have another thought brewing that I was going to talk about here, but on second thought, it's worth sleeping on before I put it out there, and it will give me a reason to come back and write if it doesn't come up in the recording of the next episode tomorrow. Im not that interesting and i dont know the first thing about what im going to be talking to this guy about so I'll save this little internal breakthrough for the audio that may or may not come up, and if it doesnt, ill just come right back here and let you know exactly whats going on in my twisted little mind.

Hopefully this was sufficiently informative, if not, sorry for wasting your time, but please comment and tell me why this blog post sucked because once again, I have no clue what the fuck im doing or who my audience is so feedback would be helpfiul! Although I do have to warn you, like if you have some solid advice, ill definitely take it, but at the same time Im not looking to have the most popular blog or podcast in the network or something. I just want to see if theres people who relate to how I think and if anyone could possibly appreciate how I learn and want to learn with me - just to keep in mind as you tell me how boring I am.